My lawyer is not happy when I write about my divorce all over my blog. But as a career adviser.

I say all the time that the best careers are those that are authentic, so it would be weird to have this huge event going on in my life and not make any mention of it within the context of my own career.

And that's the bottom line - a marriage might be about love and the divorce about finances and kids. Both of those are linked to one's career. I go to the social worker to figure out how to handle the kids part of the equation, but as a career adviser myself, I have been thinking hard about things to do to keep the divorce from destroying my career. Here are my conclusions:

Surround yourself with smart people - they'll help you make faster progress

I hired two top attorneys because I spend most of my time worrying that my husband routinely complains of me stealing our marital assets. He'll mention it while we're watching a soccer game, or under his breath taking the kids to violin class.

Usually, that accusation is reserved for men who buy a yacht and a flat for a hot little mistress and twelve first-class airfares to see her. So the accusation won't hold for me. But still, my attorney decided that our best strategy is make sure that my soon-to-be ex-husband has a great attorney. So we have two smart lawyers who are used to negotiating with each other and things will go faster.

Be consistent - be the same in the divorce as you'd be in your work

Our first official divorce fight began when my husband refused to refer to me as Penelope in his emails.

I told my almost-ex that he had to use Penelope, but I tried to say it in a nice email so that there was no animosity. In my heart of hearts I still believe the most important thing is to be nice, like I try to be at work. But he ignored my pleas.

My lawyer was dumbfounded that we were even having a fight about this. I told him the post about the issue is one of the most popular on my blog. "Go to my blog and find the post listed under most popular posts on the sidebar," I said. And then I worried that I was going to pay my lawyer $400 (£207) an hour to read my blog.

Keep a sense of humour - it gives you fresh perspective

Surprisingly though, our efforts to downplay the divorce animosity are paying off. For example, on Mother's Day, my husband agreed to go on a hike with me, our kids and our eight-year-old neighbour. It was a big favour for him to do because I'm the one who really wants the kids to feel like we're still a family, and I'm the one who likes hiking.

On the hike, the boys comforted me by being their normal boy selves, turning mud piles into cannon balls and long sticks into swords.

When we sat down to rest at a campsite, my husband said, "Wow, they have everything at this campsite, even a place to chop wood, if you had a hatchet." Our eight-year-old neighbour chipped in: "We have a hatchet at our house. My mum's boyfriend bought it for her last Valentine's Day." My husband and I looked at each other, incredulous, and smiled. And for a small second I felt like we were a family - the parents sharing a private joke while the kids tried to kill each other.

Be a good time-manager - divorce takes time, so manage it well

Ignoring the fact that my lawyer's time is probably more expensive than mine, I had him meet me at McDonald's. My son asked two or three times who the guy was. "It's my friend, Allan," I told him. And as I said it, I thought maybe that would earn me his discount rate for friends (do divorce lawyers have many friends?).

My son offered Allan an ice cream, which he declined, and then Allan's clock ticked in Playland while I bought my son the most expensive ice cream ever purchased. Then my son asked if Allan wanted to go down the slide. He asked if Allan was coming to our house. Perhaps eventually I'll bring home some guy to live with us, but right now I can't wrap my head around anything beyond some guy coming to McDonald's with us.

Be honest - if you are shady about your divorce people will think you're shady about everything

It would be so fake to tell you that I'm not worried. I'm very worried. I'm worried that I'll never fall in love. That's normal, right? I mean, I know it's normal if you are 15 and get dumped, so it must be true now, too?

I'm also worried about money. A divorce comes with a promise to earn a certain amount of money. All the things I've done in my life to ensure that I have flexibility to do whatever career I want could be going down the tubes. I'm very scared about that.

I also worry that my readers are only interested because other peoples' divorces make them feel better about keeping their own marriage together. Well, okay. I hope I can make some of you feel smug today, because sometimes I write advice and I'm the one feeling smug. We should all get our chance.